By Ricky8 Doc Sauceda
Song of Songs 4:1
How beautiful you are, my darling!
Oh, how beautiful!
Your eyes behind your veil are doves.
Since my separation and divorce in 2009, I have only dated three women. All of them a catastrophe. They were shallow, aggressive and very sporadic in their behavior. Each of them left me feeling frustrated and upset for being used.
I am proud to say that I did not have intimacy with any of them. I have an expectancy of how a relationship should be working and I have yet to meet the woman who can be trustworthy of intimacy.
Song of Songs 4:16
Awake, north wind,
and come, south wind!
Blow on my garden,
that its fragrance may spread everywhere.
Let my beloved come into his garden
and taste its choice fruits.
Intimacy is holy. I have only had the body to body experience with two women in my lifetime, both within a couple of years: 1981-1982. I married one of them. The other has been a constant friend to me via social media. She advised me to get help from a ministry named DivorceCare and has been a wonderful friend for now fourteen years. She lives in Oklahoma and is currently engaged to be married.
I can still smell my wife’s hair, as we shared a bed for nearly three decades. Her hair always smelled clean. Her breath was always pleasant. I would prop myself close to her and adore her as she lay sleeping. (I never told her of this.)
I wonder how many men take the time to appreciate their wife/girlfriend as I did. I believe in being fully into a person: heart and soul. This is why I cannot go to bed with just anyone for thrills. Love is something that I feel deserves a proper place...a reverence.
I am sixty-one years old now and have been alone for fourteen years. It was hard at first but is becoming more manageable for me now. I have a daily routine that keeps me on a pace so that I don't get caught up in any kind of funky emotional state.
Hebrews 13:4
Marriage should be honored by all and the marriage bed kept undefiled,
I am ready to spend the rest of my life single if I cannot find a worthy person to love. Also, that will love me equally.