by Ricky Doc Sauceda
Job 23:9-10
The north enfolds him, and I cannot catch sight of him;
The south hides him, and I cannot see him.
10 Yet he knows my way;
if he tested me, I should come forth like gold.
Although my Daddy was the greatest provider of the modern era for our family line, I was regarded as the last amongst both sides of my family: Momma's and Daddy's. I was always mocked and made fun of.
That really jacked me up emotionally. I loved music very much. I was told to not even try because it wasn't meant for me.
I did it anyway in Junior High School. I ended up being a good musician. With all of the issues at home, I was suffering academically. After all, who can care about self achievement when you can see your life falling apart?
Coming out of Junior High and into High School, I was an inner mess. It was hard to focus on anything.
Exteriorly I smiled and made friends but I was crumbling on the inside. Music was my reliance. Our school district had a requirement of maintaining a C average to participate in extracurricular activities: sports, band, choir, etc. I was on my way out of eligibility for being in band after school began in 1977-1978, my first freshman year.
I had chosen a specific instrument from the ones available for selection that year. Only, a senior had been using that very one in his time at the school. That was Kevin Skipworth. He prodded and poked at me every day to allow him to use it during practice.
His aim was to attain his instrument. One day I just gave up and told him to keep it. The entire section of players congratulated him by high fives and their shaking of hands.
Two of those were Carson Cryar and Loren Peycke. I had met them during UIL competition in our 8th grade year in Deer Park, Texas. We attended different Junior High Schools in Conroe...them Travis and me Washington. I placed and they did too.
Carson and Loren formulated in their minds that I was the "one to beat" after that competition. Unknown to me, I had gained them as enemies. During my one season at Conroe High School, they were seeking an opportunity to get me kicked out of band. (My Aunt Ruby's daughter also contributed to this effort.)
I was the best player in our section but denied first chair by the director Ralph Rowe. He kept me near the end for some reason. He favored Kevin. (I was a mere freshman, and foreign looking to boot).
I had met some new friends that year. I began partying very heavily due to my parent's separation and the way it had ended...violently. I was in deep hurt and pain.
I missed a Friday night game and chose to go party. I stayed the weekend at that home. On the following Sunday Carson and Loren met up with me in the parking lot of their church near my friend's house at Candy Cane Park.
That very next Monday they told our band director of that encounter. They had asked me where I was on Friday night and I was truthful about it. I said that I had gone to a party.
The band director suspended me from marching and performances. He also started harassing me. Soon I just walked away during practice one day...literally.
I never looked back. I went to party with my friends. I just didn't care.
My grades would not have allowed me to continue to play or march. All Carson, Loren and Kevin had to do was focus on their life and assignments and I would have been removed due to poor grades. I was wronged by them, but used to this kind of treatment throughout my upbringing.
I was always someone to laugh at and discount by my relatives. I don't know why. That was just the way it was.
I have never played ever again. I do continue to listen to music and sing to the songs. I self taught myself on various techniques.
The next school year, I eventually found peace. I began focusing on true spiritual religion, as Dr. S.M. Lockridge described it. I had a big turnaround take place.
I had known about God since I was very young. I attended Bible class and prayed. I did have a foundation, but was full of inner turmoil because of my home life.
I was able to smile and be friendly, but not concentrate on any schoolwork. I floundered. I truly just did not care.
I now volunteer to teach 11th graders at my local church. I do this because I truly love our LORD. I want to be there for any troubled student who needs a unique instruction.
I don't appreciate the pitfalls of life. I do appreciate what I have learned from them. I have had good things come out of those situations.
Genesis 50:19-21
But Joseph replied to them: “Do not fear. Can I take the place of God? Even though you meant harm to me, God meant it for good, to achieve this present end, the survival of many people. So now, do not fear. I will provide for you and for your children.” By thus speaking kindly to them, he reassured them.
Amen.