by Ricky Doc Sauceda
Ezekiel 37:5 - This is what the Sovereign LORD says to these bones: I will make breath enter you, and you will come to life.
In November of 2008, an annual dinner was held for the hotel industry in Houston, Texas. My former wife is employed in this industry. She convinced me to go with her to this event. I never attended her fancy functions in the past because I don't feel comfortable in that environment. I was raised in a small country town and feel out of place in those settings.
I am not sophisticated or well educated and I am not worth a hill of beans in this world. I am a good man who always stood up for his children. I am the one who would meet with the teachers, counselors and principals at the schools of my children. I am the one who defended them if it was needed.
That night at the fancy hotel was the end of my marriage. It was when I finally realized that my wife did not love me or respect me in any way. I will not go any further on this matter.
I fell apart soon after that November in 2008. I had to begin my current "faith journey" to recover and heal. It will be a lifelong process because I "died" from this world as a result of this. I literally cling to the Lord every day to keep living. I have no desire to be here anymore.
My only desire is to focus on God. That is why I share so much of myself each day. I keep stating that I am just sharing what it takes to motivate me each day. I am quite literal about this. My friend Jenifer mentioned to me that she has never seen anything like this. Well, I never had to rely on God like this before.
My ex is gone, my sons love me but my daughter and I have fallen away from one another. I have my faith, church, job and life and I praise the Lord daily for all of it. He is my purpose for living. He sustains, strengthens and enables me to carry on each day.
I don't feel any of the pain for one reason. My focus on the Lord. It is like being in the path of mighty winds and storms. While the body may be battered and bruised, the spirit is strong.
I just wanted to share where I am at right now in life. I needed to. I want you to know that while my earthly self suffers, my spiritual self is good. If it wasn't, you would not be reading any of these words right now. God is love. God provides all things. God is life.