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by Ricky Doc Sauceda
Song of Solomon 8:7
Many waters cannot quench love; rivers cannot sweep it away. If one were to give all the wealth of one's house for love, it would be utterly scorned.
In the summer of 1978, my friend Bruce Estes died of electrocution. I was still battling with my "inner demons" and would need more time to be SAVED. I had taken drivers education in the summer and had gotten my license. I had flunked summer school because I just didn't care about it, so now I was facing a second year as a freshman. I would have to take portions of classes over and some completely over again. It was the year I learned to give in to the Lord and would be my turning point.
My friend Mary Duggan and her family moved to Navasota, Texas and I never heard from them again. I was now having to carry the knowledge that Jesus Christ was my savior, but I wasn't ready yet. I would undergo more events before turning over my life to the Lord. During this school year I would meet a valuable group of friends that would help my walk: Jennifer Waldo, Cathy Carrier, Donna Gayle Rickman, Lisa Hamner, Kelli Cunningham, Diane Terry, Natalie Heine, Eddie Renae Straughter and Dean Patterson. Now, of this group not all were identifiable as Christians so-to-speak. They were all good friends that were not part of my darkness.
These were a group of stable and friendly people who would counter the ones I had who were not. This group helped me to decide what I needed to do and why. If not by advice, by the way they carried themselves on a daily basis. They are a huge part of why I decided to change - to be at peace in my mind. God placed them in my life to help me learn how to live.
During that school year a girl became infatuated with me and it was obvious. She was popular, pretty and amazing to know as a person. She was a twirler in the marching band and a freshman. She was also the girlfriend of the quarterback for the freshman football team. Her name was Nancy.
I met Nancy in my freshman English class that year. At first, I was in and out of the class just being me. Then one day I noticed her looking at me and she didn't turn away. We would do this every day from that point on. She was a delight to watch and I did very often. We may have spoken a hello or two...I really can't remember.
Later that year I got my first job at a Wendy's that had opened up in Conroe, Texas. My friend Lori's dad came by to visit and left a comment card that said,"Nothing special about the burger. It was okay." He owned a burger restaurant in town called Burger Ranch. I never did eat there and have no idea what the food was like.
Somehow Nancy learned I was working there and soon started coming by. I worked the drive through window and was so shocked to see her there. Her mom drove the car and Nancy would lean over and talk a little bit to me. That part I remember very well. I would take extra care of her order and would lean out further just to hand it to her. We would smile at each other and it was really special to see her. Her mom would make a straight face and lean back to allow me room to reach into the car to hand Nancy the order. It was either the craziest or sweetest thing you would have ever had seen - depending on your point of view.
After the Christmas holiday, the second semester started and I no longer needed to take the freshman English class. I had passed the second part the year before. I had actually stopped seeing Nancy until I worked at Wendy's. She then held a party for the English class and made it clear that everybody who had been in the class the entire year was invited. My cousin was instructed to tell me of this party by her...he was in the class too. I had to really think about it and was perplexed. I had to soul search over it.
To her, I was a cute boy that she had developed a fondness for. I regarded myself as damaged and I felt I had no business being in her life because of it. I decided not to go to the party and I heard that she was sad. I didn't mean to hurt her feelings. She stopped coming by the Wendy's too.
Later that year was the event of the broken promise to my mom to make it back home on the same night. The idea that I was no good for a girl like Nancy was instrumental in my change. It broke my heart not to have gone to that party - I wanted to. So, Nancy...wherever you are, I am sorry for not having been there. I hope you are well and happy in life.
God bless you.