Kristina's Message
by Ricky Doc Sauceda
(dedicated to my first cousin Johnny and all of his loved ones and friends)
2 Timothy 1:7
For the Spirit God gave us does not make us timid, but gives us power, love and self-discipline.
First I'd like to start off by thanking each and everyone of you here today. For showing your love and support to our family in this difficult time. I also wanna thank those who could not make it here today but we know you all are here in spirit. I can’t explain the feeling my heart has right now as I look around and see all the wonderful people my dad had in his life.
So awesome to see how much my dad was loved and admired. That alone brings me such an abundant amount of joy and comfort. That, in some way or another, my daddy made a impact on your heart. Whether it was his beautiful talented voice that was filled with so much soul or his incredible sense of humor that was either right on time or not the right time at all, but it was contagious. You couldn’t help but smile or laugh to the point of tears. Or, just simply put, he was just one cool, loving, handsome son of gun. And whatever it was that did it for you is what I pray you hold on to forever to keep the memory of my dad, Juanito Sauceda Jr., alive.
I wanna share this one memory with you all. My dad made me a runner. He’d push me to my limit. There was this one time that stood out from all the rest. I told him that I wanted to train for Cowtown 10k. But as I got closer to event, I got discouraged and wanted to quit. And he said, “nope, nuh uh girl! None of that! You wanted to run the Cowtown 10k? Well you are and I’m gonna help you stick to it and you gone finish strong girl! Now let’s go...hut to, hut to, hut to.”
I told him , “I can’t dad, I think I’m gonna be sick, I feel like I’m gonna pass out or throw up.” His response was, “and? well?? Go throw up! Drink some water and get your butt back on that track.” Every time i rounded a lap and passed him I wanted to cry and cuss him out. And when I finally finished my laps, I was so exhausted and had spaghetti legs, I was out of breath and barely able to breath. And he saw me struggling to catch my breath and he said, “Good job mija!! I’m so proud of you! Yea your exhausted, yea your tired! Of course, you just ran your butt off but dog’gon’it girl you stayed committed to it and you finished it. And you’re much more stronger than the last time...you finished the race.” And, just like my dad, he’d always find something funny or something goofy to do to get my mind off how mad I was at him. In no time I was laughing but crying at same time. And then he’d tell me, “Now breath in through your nose and out your mouth.” He said to me, “You think you feel like crap right now? Imagine how you would if you didn’t finish til end.”
It’s memories like that i hold close to me because they were lessons of tough love and how not to give up. So, on April 7th, 2019, on that early evening...my dad began to struggle breathing. We sat him up to find a way to comfort him.
Forgive me if this too much for your heart to bare and for you to hear, but this message isn’t from me. I prayed on this and right away I felt the confidence and heaviness on my heart to share this...I feel strongly it came from our God...to bring reassurance, peace and comfort.
So as my dad was struggling to breath and with each passing minute it got worse and we knew the time was coming. My sister Abigail and I were given the opportunity to sit next him at his last moments and say what we needed to say and what we needed him to hear and know. My lil sister went first and I followed after. And when I finished I told him “, “It’s okay daddy you can rest now...it’s okay to go now.” I told him, “Remember dad when we’d go running together and you’d tell me to breath in through your nose and out your mouth. Well, I need you to try that for me and if you can’t daddy, well, it’s okay You’ve finished the race daddy. No need to fight no more. I know you're exhausted and you're tired but damn it daddy you fought your hardest and you never gave up.”
My dad taught me self discipline and perseverance...he taught me in that moment, that no matter how tough and how hard something gets while living on this earth, we have to keep fighting, keep pushing those legs and feet. Yes you get tired, yes you're exhausted and yes you just want to fall to ground and give up. But if you're still breathing, then you’re still alive. You have to keep fighting, you have to finish the race. Just remember to breath....in through your nose out through your mouth. Love, hug, and cherish every moment with your loved ones.
God bless you all always. And to my dad, well done daddy, well done. I love you!